So You Want to Work

As I mentioned before, my identity was tied into my career. Who I was as a professional was so important to me that I search endlessly trying to find that niche again. Though it may sound crazy, I didn't want to be known as disabled all the rest of my life. My family and friends kept saying, "You have worked all of your life, enjoy this, call it retirement." Hell, at my mid 40's to retire was to say to me why don't you spend the rest of your life in hell itself.

You may recall that in previous posts I mentioned the Ohio Rehabilitative Commission. The best that they could come up was a greeter at Walmart. No way was I going to spend the rest of my life as a greeter at Walmart. That type of job was exactly that a job not a position. I wanted to be challenged. Damn I was challenged with my medication but I at least had to have some sort of self-worth.

I thought let me first volunteer, there are plenty of volunteer positions out there that I could do. So, I volunteered for the Master Gardeners of Lee County and became one myself. It was challenging to go to school again but it gave me back my self-esteem. I succeed so much that I was on the Board within a year turning everything upside down. That wasn't enough I felt like I was thrown a bone which had no meat on it. So, I went into the Master Paster Program from the church I was attending. Still no satisfaction. I was hunting for something, somewhere that would fill the void in my life.

There is a message here, mainly, where are the governmental programs for those who want to transition out of the security net of social security into the working world once again? Don't get me wrong the thought of working scared the hell out of me, but I needed my self-esteem and self-worth again. Family members were furious with me because I wasn't satisfied in sitting home and watching tv or amusing myself around the house. Maybe for someone else this would be satisfying but for me it sure the hell wasn't.

Finally, I did a self analysis of my career and went through all the aspects of my positions that I had in the past. I was a consultant, director, manager and now I had to figure out what I wanted to be. The common thread that I found in all the positions was that I enjoyed teaching various aspects of my fields. Well, I thought with that revelation I need to teach. Where could I teach? I had a Master's of Science degree not a teaching degree. Given that I was driven not to stay home I decided to look at the local schools and with a lot of hunting found a position as an 8th grade Science teacher.

Well, I thought that is the answer I can teach 8th graders. Lo and behold I had another thing coming. First, my family and friends were upset with me that I would try to work. Here is another point for the families of those of mental health consumers, the road to recovery also is paved with the self-worth of the individual. If the individual can work in some sort of capacity that gives them satisfaction, let them do it. The worst that can happen is that they will fall, but be there to catch them.

In my case, I had under estimated the mental capacity of 8th graders. It takes a very special person to handle them. First their hormones are raging and second they believe they know the answers to life. I lasted one year and then with great remorse had to resume my life on disability. The stress was way too much for me and this only gave fuel to the fire of my family that I shouldn't work ever again. Instead of catching me as I fell, they simply ignored the fact and told me, "I told you so." Years later I refined my search for a position and now have been an adjunct faculty member at a local college. In a way it is my way of saying, "I told you so."

Again, I repeat myself, however, case managers heed this message. Look deep into the soul of your client and determine what they can do in life to build up there self-esteem. Granted some consumers will not be able to do much but others may. Above all things take each consumer as an individual and try not to pigeon hole them into the slots that you perceive are available. THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX.

Thank you for reading.