Aftermath of Forrest Gump I

Well, were does one begin to explain the guilt and humility that comes out of an experience of Forrest Gump I walkabout. Remember that I had walked from OH to FL and was found by my family in a hospital. Instead of being joyous of finding me the family unit was taken aback. They still blamed each other for the episode, none willing to look at the situation as being caused by the illness. Instead, they became over-protective and uninformed.

Fear ruled in their lives that I would take another walkabout at any moment. My identity had been stolen from me. Simple tasks, such as writing in a checkbook was taken from me. What was I to do? I was totally humiliated by the actions that had happened. My pleads to let me breathe were falling to the wayside. Their inability to grasp, why this happened led me to further depression and anxiety.

I remember being brought home and placed in front of a television set with videos to watch. Why wouldn't they discuss with me what had happened. Were they a totally dysfunctional family unit. Wars broke out at anytime regarding who was to blame and how we would repair my financial situation. I was married a second time and my x-wife, was somewhat supportive but she too had fears of me running away again. My keys to the car were taken away from me. I couldn't go the store without someone following me. Let alone go to the bathroom which was constantly interrupted with, "Are you OK in there?" My meds were dispensed like I was an idiot and didn't know how to administer them.

I look back now and realize that they were so scared that they were clutching to my every move to make sure that I didn't run away again. Here is point that I wish to make, where were the health care professionals in all of this process? I am sure that they discussed the after care with them, but did they give them parameters on how to deal with an intelligent person? Did they assure them that treatment now was to give him space to breathe? I don't know the answer to these pointed questions. I only know that the true hell came after the walkabout. Did I have the walkabout because of their actions? No one will ever know the answer to this question, but I feel that when a loved one comes back from such an "adventure" the family unit NEEDS to be educated on how to support him/her. Without that support he/she may just encapsulate and isolate himself for his own sanity.

Life in the fishbowl was terrible. As I mentioned every action/word was scrutinized by the family unit without any clarification by myself. Misinterpretations were quickly brought to the doctor with the statement, "He is going crazy again!" I remember on numerous occasions trying to convince the doctors or clinicians that I wasn't going to do anything stupid again. In their minds the lack of taking the magic pills was the cause of this illness. How do you explain to them and have the emotions stripped from their reality so that they would see the light. One doctor that I had, said your brother is stating that you are getting ill again. It took me months to prove to the doctor that I was taking my medication and not getting ill.

The point of this post is every family unit is different but similar. Family units need to be fully educated and integrated with the true interpretations of signs of mental illness. I leave this to the health care professionals, however, if I ever have an opportunity to discuss my "adventure" with the families affected by mental illness, I most definitely will. I believe education is the key, but integrations into the families understanding is of the utmost importance.

I diverge at this point, however, I remember one doctor who told my ex-wife to shut up and I want to hear from Tony's point of view. It is the fear that has to be conquered and the understanding of the illness not a tug-of-war in whose interpretation of the facts are real. If I could speak to the AMA I would implore them to use their skills in discerning the reality of the patient from the reality of the family units. This friction only causes more problems than solve. In addition, though we ask the family unit to be the eyes of the physician, the information needs to weighed with the reality of the psychological impact the illness is having on the family units.

Thank you for reading.